3 and a half months since I started this blog post. Only to delete it all today and start afresh, as Japan means something completely different to me now than it did back then.

I think about Japan a lot these days.  Every now and then a vivid memory flashes past my eyes of me riding my bike to Makino. Or of a park. Or of Kansai Gaidai. Or of the Cherry blossoms. Or of watching the sun set from the roof of the Osaka Sky building in Umeda. Or to the people I miss so dearly. And every time I do it makes me smile. For that split second I relive those feelings, those moments, and the wind physically gets knocked out of me but I know they’ll never happen again. These memories aren’t reminding me of what I’ve lost, they remind me of all those special moments that I never had to experience – but life gave them to me anyway and so I should never be ungrateful for them.

As I said in my last post, my trip to Japan was amazing, yes. Amazing. UHHMAZING! But when I got back and tried to write this blog post I felt myself speechless. The words I wrote were words that littered the page but didn’t give me the satisfaction I needed to click that publish button. Satisfying whatever it is that compels me to write these posts is usually easy but for this one… not so much… for the life of me I couldn’t do it.

So this is it, the time has come again for me to depart from the Gold Coast here in Australia and make headway towards Osaka.  Again.  It’s happening again.  I mean, i never doubted that it would, but there’s always something surreal about something this grand – in my experience anyway.

It’s actually kinda scary.  I don’t know what I’ll think of Japan when I get there.  I loved that place more than anything in the world, but i’m a different person to who I was when I was in Japan – i’ve come a long way.  Will i still love it? Will it still appeal to me?  Maybe.  But the scary part is what if it doesn’t? What then? I guess i’ll find out soon enough!

It’s also very exciting.  Just now, at the airport, I gave our hostel a quick ring to confirm our booking.  Now, i’m out of practice with my Japanese – slowly getting into the swing of things due to my studies this semester – but out of practice none the less.  But, i managed to check our booking with ease – all systems go.  This was actually the wake-up call (quite literally a wake-up call).  It really drove home that i’m going back to Japan, it also boosted my confidence.

I’m sad.

I’m crying.

Not on the outside, because that would be embarassing and very un-manly of me.  But I am crying.  On the inside.

Tomorrow I leave for Japan.

-= English Below – and as always, please correct my mistakes! =-

３月２4日２０１１年　　木曜日

輓近僕はゴールデンコンパスを読んでいた。あまり本を読まないけど僕の友達が僕に「この本は一押しの本だよ！読まなくちゃいけない！」と言った。僕の友達はこの本好きな予感がする。。。今までこの本が面白くて好きだと思う。。。

Lately, I’ve been reading “The Golden Compass”.  I don’t really read books, but a friend of mine told me “This is a must read book! You have to read it!”.  I have a feeling my friend likes the book… So far its been pretty good, I think…

３月３０日２０１１年　　水曜日

昨日の夜めっちゃ楽しかった。一晩中僕と四人友達は一緒にテレビを見たりピザを食べたりビデオゲームをしたりした。よかったよ！

Last night was super fun. 4 friends and I watched TV, ate pizza and played video games all night long. It was pretty good!

22 Days! 22 Days till i’m back in Japan, ripping it up with my buddy Emma, only to be joined 3 days later by my cousin Ian.

In the past 2 years or so i’ve done quite a bit of travelling.  But i’ve never returned to a country i’ve travelled to (apart from Australia of course), and so this trip to Japan will be the first time i’ve done this.

My feelings leading up to this trip have recently become very mixed! The excitement of seeing all the things that I miss so dear is overwhelming, but then the possibility of Japan not being as I remember scares me.  This has resulted in me being left somewhat in a state of indifference towards my trip there.  It has made me re-think what it is about the place that I loved so much.  In fact, people have asked me that same question and my answer has been: “I just like it”.

-= English Below =-

３月２１日２０１１年　　月曜日

昨日めっちゃ楽しかったよ！起きたの時、いとこからのSMSメッセージがあった。いとこの名前はイアンだ。それを読んだが「昼ご飯行き食べないか？でも、まず、僕はおじが手伝わなくちゃいけない」。楽しそうと思っていた。ぼくは「はい、いいよ！」を答えた。

１時にはいとこがいなかった。めっちゃはらへっただったよ！もうすぐ、いとこが来って一緒に昼ご飯に行った。車でレストランまで１時間かかった。すごい腹へっただった。

でも。。。そのレストランは全焼した！！！僕は泣きたい。。。イアンは僕に「あっちシズラーがある！行ってみたいか？」と言った。次にいっしょにシズラーに行った。シズラーの豚のリブズは僕の一番好きなシズラーの食べ物だけど豚のリブズが売り切れた！信じられなかったよ！

でも、やっとの思いで、ハンバーガーの店に食べに行った。やった！

後で、僕とイアンは一緒にアイスホッケーのゲームに行った。その前には僕がアイスホッケーのゲームに行ったことがなかったからすごい楽しかった！

僕の週末が面白くてよかったと思う。。。。

-= English Below =-

３月１２日２０１１年　　　土曜日

今日の夜、ホーボーのパーティーに行って楽しそうだよ。でも、パーティーの前には僕がおばあさんの家をそうじしててつだってあげる。それは大丈夫！おばあさんは昼ご飯がぼくにめっちゃおいしいモーリシャスの料理を作ってくれるから！この食べ物は「ファラタ」という。

今朝は朝ご飯を食べ忘れた。。。今、はらへったから食べるの時。

またね！

Yeah so about those daily Japanese journal entries.  Eeek.  I figure it’s quite apparent that they won’t be posted daily on this blog because I find I don’t have enough time at my own computer to write them.  Or should i say, enough “proper” time.  I hardly have enough time to squeeze in an English post.  So i’ve been writing some journal entries down in my notebook, but I’m never too happy with them.  I’ve been hanging out with friends and my cousin lately, as well as having some late nights at Uni and the very little time I’ve found myself in front of my own computer is at a moment where the last thing I want to do is think.

Even now, I’m at Uni, waiting for a class to start, and using the computers here in the lab to make this post.  Times are tough.

Not really.

But they are for some.  How are the crazy ass earthquakes in Japan! Terrible terrible stuff.  The photos and videos i’ve seen are just simply shocking, like stuff i’d expect to only appear in some Hollywood flick.  But I am super grateful that all my friends are still ok.  Osaka wasn’t really affected, it seems.  But I do feel for everyone who has been affected by the quake, and I wish peace to those affected and a speedy recovery for Japan.

What else happened this past week? I attended a hobo party.  That was fun.  I also hung out at my buddy Tim’s new place.  We worked on a small game for one of our classes (Mobile Devices) at Uni – it was a productive (and, of course, eventful.  Note: “Tim”) afternoon/night to say the least!